


Malec fight

by NiennorNight (Niennor_Night)



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BookSpoilers, Comfort/Angst, Drama, Drama & Romance, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PostPg.511
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 05:54:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6892780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niennor_Night/pseuds/NiennorNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec and Magnus are fighting, and Magnus says something, making Alec leave. But did he mean it? And what will happen now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fight (Prologue)

> **Alec**

"Maybe you should go…" Magnus said, sounding extremely weary. He turned his green-golden cat-eyes away from Alec, dropping them on the floor looking resigned. Alec's blue ones opened wide and he froze staring at him, not believing what he heard. His hands started trembling and he balled them into fists so Magnus wouldn't see him react like that. Suddenly he felt dizzy, his mind conjuring that scene in the subway all over again in full detail.

“ _I will be out all day…”_

“ _Leave your key…”_

He could feel his heart breaking all over again, and bit harshly on his lower lip tasting blood. Struggling to keep his voice even, he whispered; "If that's what you want…" His vision had become blurry with unshed tears and through them he thought he saw Magnus reaching out to him. His mind was buzzing, filled with thoughts from that day, the Warlock’s words echoing in his head again.

_“Not that it changes anything…”_

Though the memories were overpowering, he thought he heard the present Magnus call his name, but he dismissed it. _‘It’s just my imagination…’_ he told himself. _'He finally reached his limit and told me to leave… Why would he call me back? I'm imagining things already…'_ So the Shadowhunter just shook his head in an attempt to clear it and turned his back on him. “Goodbye then…” He whispered unable to keep his voice from breaking, and ran away before the Warlock could see his tears. _'So much for not being able to let me go…'_ he thought darkly as he ran, stopping only for a moment to use a glamour rune to conceal himself from the mundanes around him.


	2. The other Side

> **Magnus**

 

He regretted the words as soon as they fell from his lips _. 'What did I say?'_ he thought staring at the floor, not daring to face Alec for a moment. He didn't want him to go, but he couldn't keep fighting anymore… He was scared things might get too ugly and someone might say something they'll regret. And while trying to prevent that, he accidentally did it himself. Of course he only meant for Alec to go clear his head, but as soon as he said the words he realised how ugly they sounded and wished to take them back.

Before he could though, Alec whispered; _“If that's what you want…”_ and Magnus felt his heart constrict. He knew him well enough to hear the crack in his voice no matter how much he tried to conceal it.

He finally looked up at Alec needing to see him, and his hand reached out towards the boy on its own accord, as he whispered, trying to explain; “No, Alec, wait, I didn't…” But the Nephilim wasn't listening to him anymore and from the way he was looking at him, Magnus realised he wasn’t really seeing him.

He was staring at him frozen in place, his sapphire eyes wide and shining, but looking empty, and Magnus could tell from the way he was trying to hide the trembling in his hands and the way he bit his lip drawing blood, that he was on the verge of tears.

_'Angel, I messed up again…'_ the Warlock thought. A tear fell from the Nephilim's eyes and Magnus gasped. However, before he could get over the shock and the pain he felt knowing he was the reason Alec was crying, and actually _do_ something, the boy shook his head and turned his back on him. The crack in his next words was evident, and Magnus felt the raw pain in Alec’s voice shatter his heart. Again he had no time to react, and then the boy was running away, disappearing down the stairs.


	3. Running

 

> **Alec**

It was pouring outside, but Alec didn't care. As he ran through the thick rain all he could think of was Magnus and how he sent him away again. _'Why can you throw me away so easily?'_ He thought sobbing, not bothering to conceal his tears anymore, the rain taking care of that. He ran and ran not even checking where he was going, until he ran out of breath and had to stop. His lungs were burning and his feet were trembling from the exertion even thought he had the runes. His raven hair was falling in wet tangles in front of his face and his dark clothes were soaked through.

He looked up and gasped, staring at the place his feet had taken him, not believing it and wondering why his subconscious led him there… He was standing near the entrance of the abandoned subway where Magnus had broken up with him and walked away, leaving him all alone… He slowly got inside, not knowing why this horrid place seemed to draw him there… _'I should return to the Institute…'_ he thought but kept walking, getting deeper inside the darkness.

“I wanna go home…” he whimpered softly, knowing no one was there to hear him. "Home… Can I ever return there again?" Magnus' words came back to him and fresh tears fell from his eyes.

_“Maybe you should go…”_

_'You said so many times you loved me… Was everything a lie?'_ He slid to the floor bringing his knees to his chest. “I guess it doesn't matter anymore… I lost him again…” He laughed mirthlessly. “I am so useless… I couldn't even-“ another sob choked him and he buried his face into his hands completely letting go and crying his eyes out, shivering because of his drenched clothes but unable to care.


	4. Searching

> **Magnus**

He was frozen in shock for a few moments and then, he screamed his name towards the empty hallway and took off chasing him but it was too late… By the time he got out on the street the Shadowhunter was already long gone. Magnus stepped out in the rain not caring about his hair or clothes that got ruined. In his hurry he didn't even think of using a tracking spell at first, just ran aimlessly on the streets calling for him.

After running around for ten minutes frantically calling Alec’s name in vain, he collapsed on a bench deciding to stop and gather his thoughts, and only then it occurred to him that he could use a tracking spell to find him. He took off a necklace that Alec had given to him as a gift and tried tracking him with it but it didn't work.

He looked down at his hands in despair and realised there was something else on him that used to belong to Alec. It was a faded black bracelet. He had crafted it tearing some strings out of the hem of one of the Nephilim's sweaters. _'It's already torn anyway…'_ he had thought back then, wishing more than anything to always have on him something belonging to Alec. It was sentimental, he knew, but he couldn't help himself. He never told him, and Alec never noticed the missing strings from his already tattered sweater. Magnus looked at it, smiling fondly for a moment, before snapping back to reality and using the spell.

To no avail though. It was on him too long and couldn't track Alec's essence anymore. He sighed, dropping his face in his hands. _'Going back home will take too long…'_ he thought gloomily. He looked up, wondering where he was and saw that he was sitting in a park five minutes away from the institute. _'Maybe he's there…'_ he thought not really believing it and got up. Even if Alec wasn't there, something he owned, _would_ be. So he ran again, and knocked breathless on the Institute's door praying that Isabelle would answer. She was the only one who would understand…

And he was in luck. Isabelle was indeed the one answering the door. Once she saw the Warlock she froze. She'd never seen him like that, drenched; his hair and clothes ruined, and doing nothing to fix either. That could only mean one thing. “By the Angel, Magnus, what happened? Is my brother alright??” She asked going pale.

He looked at her miserably scaring her further. “I don't know… I…” he muttered and finally broke down sobbing. Isabelle looked at him, horrified and pulled him inside dragging him to her room and rubbing his hair with a towel as he sobbed.

"Magnus, please calm down and tell me what happened, you're scaring me to death!" she shouted but he didn't hear her. "Ugh!! Men!!" She exclaimed and slapped him. "PULL IT TOGETHER!!"

He looked at her stunned, the shock from the slap pulling him out of the sobbing fit. "I'm sorry…" she said softly, but you were scaring me… Is Alec ok?"

"Ale…xander…" he started hyperventilating again and stopped talking, trying to regain his composure. Izzy waited impatiently to hear what happened as he stuttered, crying but not sobbing now; "He… we… had a fight…" at that, Izzy relaxed realising he wasn't hurt physically. Magnus went on. "And I… I…" he broke down into sobs again "I didn't mean it!!! It wasn't… it wasn't what I wanted to say…"

 _'Those two will be the death of me, I swear…'_ Izzy thought rubbing his back to comfort him, as she would have done if it was her brother in his place. "Calm down Magnus, it's going to be okay…"

“No… he thinks… He must… Raziel, it’s all my fault…”

“Angel, will you shut up already and tell me what the Hell happened!?!??!?!?!” Izzy exploded unable to take it anymore and Magnus froze once more, shocked.

He closed his eyes and breathed slowly reminding himself why he was there in the first place _‘I have to find him… No time for hysterics… He might be in danger…’_  He took another deep breath and started explaining. “We had a fight… It was totally stupid… Stupid, stupid, stupid. He got angry, I got angry and we were shouting at each other, and then I told him that maybe… maybe… Raziel…” he buried his face into his hands breathing deeply to calm down, chanting, “Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…”

“Magnus…” Isabelle warned.

“Right…” he said getting back on track “I told him that maybe he should go…”

Isabelle’s compassionate look turned to one of total fury and she seethed “YOU DID WHAT?!?!?!?!”

Magnus hastily raised his arms in surrender “Wait!!! I only meant he should go clear his head, but he misunderstood and ran away and I didn’t get a chance to explain!!!”

“YOU STUPID WARLOCK!!!!!!” Isabelle roared. “If anything happens to my brother I am going to slaughter you!!!”

“If anything happens to him, I will gladly let you torture me to death…” he whispered dropping his head.

She softened at that, remembering how much they both love each other. “It’s okay… We will find him…”

He shook his head and when he looked at her there was a look of determination on his face. “Right. No more time to waste…” He got up and went straight to Alec’s room with Izzy on his heels.

“Magnus? What the Hell? Where are you going?”

He ignored her and headed to Alec’s closet taking out one of his sweater’s and explaining “I needed something of his to cast the tracking spell and I was already on the street. The institute was closer…” He sat down and closed his eyes casting the tracking spell and succeeding this time. “Wha-?” He shot up. “What are you doing there???” he said to himself, forgetting about Izzy momentary.

“What is it Magnus??? Where is he???” she demanded and he looked at her remembering her presence.

“At the subway, where…” he didn’t finish his sentence, but he didn’t have to, she realised what he wanted to say.

“What? Why??”

“No idea. I have to go!” he ran outside and she followed him.

“I’m coming too!”

“No, Isabelle… I should go alone…”

She looked at him for a moment, then sighed and nodded. “Okay… But be sure to keep me informed! And you’d better fix this!!!”

“I will…” he only said and ran outside.


	5. Reunited

> **Magnus**

The subway wasn’t very far away so he decided to not waste magic in a portal in case something happened and he needed it. Instead, he ran as fast as he could and within two minutes he was there, entering the dark tunnels in search of Alec. He lit a blue fire between his fingertips to navigate the dark place and stood still for a moment listening carefully for any sign of his Shadowhunter. And he heard it. A soft whimpering coming from the distance, inside the total dark and silence. He ran breathlessly to reach him and finally found him, curled down against a wall, his face hidden between his knees, crying softly. Illuminated by the blue light Alec seemed even more pale than before.

Magnus ran to his side kneeling down and reached out to touch his face realising he wasn't conscious, but still crying in his sleep. His heart broke.

 _'My fault…'_ "Alexander…" he called softly. _'All my fault…'_ "My Angel…" He touched his face and gasped. He was burning up.

As if triggered by his voice and touch Alec whispered between sobs.  
“Ma… gnus…”

The Warlock was crying silently too now; he leaned down to pick the unconscious boy up on his arms and created a portal to the loft. He set him down gently on the bed over the covers and took his wet and cold clothes off him. He then dressed him in soft and warm pajamas and covered him with blankets. He let him go for a moment to text Izzy so she won't worry: 'We're home. Will tell you more later.' He brought a wet compress and placed it on his burning forehead, whispering, "Alec… Alexander, can you hear me?"

The boy slowly opened his blue eyes which were clouded from the fever and looked up at him, "Mags…? Are you… really… here…?" He whispered with great effort and closed his eyes feeling extremely weakened.

"Hush… don't speak baby… rest…"

Alec opened his eyes again however, and went on "Why…? You… send me away… again…" His sapphire eyes filled with tears "Why… would you be… here? Am I… seeing things?"

Magnus gently touched his forehead, still crying. "Shh… No baby… I'm really here, I'm so sorry… I love you so much…"

"I don't… Believe you…" he only said and fell asleep, exhausted.

Magnus brought a hand to his mouth shocked, _'No way… My Angel…'_ he shook his head, regaining his composure. _'No time for self-pity. I'm going to fix_ you _first… Then everything else.'_ "But how do I fix you?" He muttered, starting to panic. "With heat or cold?" He conjured a thermometer and took his temperature. 41°c. " _Angel!_ Cold definitely!” he exclaimed, then muttered, “I have to make his fever drop before…"

So he he went to the bathroom, and waving his fingers filled up the bathtub with ice, then carefully picked the Nephilim up on his arms, to take him there.

That woke him up and he muttered feverishly, still half caught in his nightmares, gripping the Warlock's shirt and crying "Please don't… Don't leave me again… Please Magnus…"

"Shh…" he whispered burying his face in the boy's raven hair, kissing his temple, "Hush baby… It's okay you're going to be alright I'm not leaving you… Hush…" Alec fell limp in his arms, letting go, exhausted, and Magnus hurried on terrified. "Baby…" he whispered standing beside the ice water, "I'm sorry, this is going to be unpleasant…"

Alec opened his eyes again, laughing weakly without mirth. "I bet I've had worse…" then he seemed to think about it for a moment, staring at him, his cobalt eyes foggy and losing focus, "You're still here? What a pleasant dream…"

Magnus closed his eyes pained, and sighed _'How am I going to fix this?'_

Seeing his reaction Alec spoke again, "It seems that I… can't… get anything right, even when… dreaming…"

"Alec, no! That's not…!"

But the boy ignored him, and went on. "Is that why… you… can't stand me?" Tears pooled at his blue eyes again "Guess I can't blame you…"

"My Angel, no," Magnus said hurriedly, panicking, "I didn't mean to…" but the Nephilim, having fallen unconscious again, was no longer able to hear him.


	6. Loss

The Warlock gently lowered Alec’s body into the freezing water and ran to the room to bring another compress and the thermometer, forgetting to use magic in his panic. He returned and found the Nephilim shivering but when he checked his temperature it was still too high. "Alec, My Alec, Alexander, God, what do I do?? I don't know how to heal-" he stopped, remembering: "Catarina!" He hastily called her, keeping his eyes on Alec.

"Magnus? I'm busy, what do you-?" Catarina started saying, before Magnus’ control slipped again and he started talking rapidly while sobbing. "MAGNUS!!" She shouted on the other end of the phone. "Calm down! I can't understand a word! What on Earth happened??"

"Alec…" he managed to choke out and now she sounded worried too.

"Is he… alive?"

“Yes…"

"I'm coming over, make me a portal…" she said and hung up. He took him out of the water and after drying him up with a towel and putting him on dry warm clothes again, laid him on the bed, temporarily placing a cold compress on his forehead. The Nephilim was by now muttering incoherently from the fever and Magnus hurried on, going to the living room and making a portal.

A minute later Catarina was there. As soon as he saw her, Magnus hugged her crying, "Help me…"

"Shh…" she said petting his hair, "What happened?"

"He… he is burning up… And I… I don't know what to do… I'm not a healer…"

She gently disentangled herself from his desperate grip. "Take me to him."

He led the way telling her, "I put him in an ice bath to drop his fever but it didn't work, and he's shivering but also burning and hallucinating and-"

"Hush." She cut him off "It'll be fine…"

She walked there and sat down beside him placing a hand on his forehead. He opened his eyes again at the cool touch and looked at her, surprise colouring his weak voice. "Cata… rina? What…?"

"Don't speak…" she said softly and he closed his eyes drawing a ragged breath.

"I knew… it was… a dream… He…"

A sob wracked his body and she turned to glare daggers at Magnus mouthing 'What the Hell did you do?!' Then she gestured furiously for him to come closer.

Magnus practically ran there, and fell on his knees beside the bed taking Alec's hand in his own and kissing it. "My Angel…" he wept "I'm so sorry…"

Hearing his voice, Alec opened his eyes, but couldn't see him where he stood "Magnus?"

"I'm here, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" he answered crazed with worry. Alec just sighed content and his breathing relaxed.

Catarina smiled tenderly watching them, muttering, "Stupid boys…" affectionately. She then leaned over him and started healing him as Magnus sat on the floor still clutching his hand.

Ten minutes later she fell on a nearby chair, tired. "He'll be fine…"

Magnus got up and touched the Shadowhunter’s face softly. He was breathing normally now and wasn't burning anymore. “Thank God…” he turned to Catarina and hugged her tightly chanting “Thank you, thank you, thank you…”

She pet his hair again, "No need to thank me silly… Now,” she ordered, “Go get me something to drink and tell me what did you do to him _this_ time.”

Now that he was no longer terrified for Alec, he retorted, “Who says _I_ was to blame?”

She raised an eyebrow critically “Your reaction for one. Crying and apologising like that screams 'guilty'. So? What happened?”

He sighed defeated and conjured an ice coffee for her, then sat on the edge of the bed, gently running his fingers through Alec's raven hair and told her everything. She managed to refrain from saying anything until he was done.

In the end Magnus dropped his head whispering “I didn't mean to… What if…” he choked out, tears returning to his eyes at the mere thought. “What if he hates me now? What if he leaves me…?”

"You dumbass…" she muttered not unkindly "Just make sure to explain to him when he wakes up and I'm sure he'll forgive you. You know he adores you."

He nodded tearfully. “Thank you…”

She got up and stretched. "Just… don't fight anymore… Stupid boys… I hate seeing you both like that…" She ruffled Magnus' hair affectionately and leaned to kiss Alec on the forehead. "Make me a portal… I want to go home and sleep… And next time you make that sweet child sad I will personally kick your ass."

He chuckled softly. "Deal."

“Now let him rest.” She went on. “Call me if anything else happens.”

Once she was gone, he knelt by the bed taking hold of the sleeping boy’s hand and kissing it, then laying his head beside it, looking up at him, waiting, watching him as he slept. He calmed down seeing him look peaceful and before he knew it, he had sunk in a restless sleep.


	7. Epilogue

Alec woke up feeling disorientated. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking to adjust to the dimness in the room. "I'm home…? But… How?" He muttered, finding himself lying on their bed covered up with blankets, and having no recollection of how he got there. He closed his eyes again. He remembered the fight, Magnus' words, the subway, and then everything was fading like an almost forgotten dream… He wasn't sure if the rest were memories or a product of his imagination. It was all too bizarre. Magnus and Catarina… The Warlock crying for some reason and more darkness…

He shook his head and opened his eyes again. He tried to move his hand and only then realised someone was holding it. He looked and saw Magnus kneeling on the floor, fast asleep, with his head on the bed beside his hand which he still held tightly on his own. _‘He looks so pale_ … _’_ He thought worried. Even though his last clear memory was of the fight, he found himself reaching out to him with his other hand, to gently move a lock of raven hair away from his face, smiling sadly at his sleeping form. His fingertips brushed his cheek and the Warlock stirred.

"Alec…" he choked out in his sleep and the boy froze, staring at him, thinking he woke up and wondering if he'll sent him away again. Then his expression changed. It was no longer peaceful, but anguished, with deep lines of worry on his face. "No… Please… Don't…" he started breathing faster like he was in pain and tears fell from his closed eyes.

Alec couldn't bear to watch him suffer even for a moment, so he caught his shoulder and shook him gently, while leaning close and whispering, "Magnus. Magnus, wake up. It's only a dream… Wake up!"

The Warlock gasped and shot up, hyperventilating, his heart beating rapidly on his chest. He looked at Alec frozen for a few seconds, his cat-eyes wide, pupils so dilated they almost seem black. Then he fell on him and hugged him tightly chanting, "Alec, my Alec… Alec…"

"Ma… gnus… I can't- can't breathe…" the Nephilim said, squirming in his arms.

He let him go immediately and took his face in his hands instead, staring into his eyes "Are you okay?" He whispered.

"Why are _you_ crying?" The boy demanded instead of answering, but his energy died out immediately and he looked away, making Magnus drop his hands "You were the one who sent me away… Why do you act all worried? And how… did I get here?"

Magnus bit his lower lip savagely and Alec had to fight back the urge to stop him, waiting for his answer. He wasn't expecting the outburst that followed.

The Warlock started sobbing and reached out to touch him again, but stopped, looking terrified to do so. "I'm sorry!!" He cried, "I didn't mean to!! That's not what I wanted, I, I…" more crying and gasping as he tried to breathe through his tears.

Alec's heart broke seeing him so devastated, but he didn't understand why _he_ seemed so heart-broken. _'Stop this…'_ he thought, _'I should be the one crying… You have no right…'_

Then Magnus shook his head managing to calm down a little, and went on. "Alec, my Alec…"

The Shadowhunter shook his head too, tears on his eyes. "I'm no longer yours…" Magnus gasped, and started hyperventilating again, and Alec went on hastily. " **You** sent me away… **You** didn't want me anymore… **You** -"

"NO!" Magnus screamed startling him and cutting him off. "Wait! I wouldn't, I didn't- I didn't mean that!!" Alec was staring at him frozen not daring to think, to hope, just waiting. "Alec…” The Warlock said, his voice soft again, “Please… Don't cry…"

"I'm not-!" He protested but then Magnus reached out and wiped away his tears and he froze once more, looking at him with wide blue eyes.

"Please let me explain…" he whispered softly and Alec nodded. "I'm sorry…" he said again, "I swear it was a misunderstanding… What I meant, what I wanted to say… I just wanted to stop fighting… I didn't realise how awful it sounded until I heard it and saw your reaction… I meant to say you should go clear your head, because I was afraid things may get out of hand…" he laughed once, bitterly, and without humour at the irony of the situation.

"No way…" Alec only said and Magnus looked at him sadly.

"Alexan- Alec…” He whispered, “Do you remember what we were fighting for?"

"No… It was something stupid…" The boy answered, not meeting his eyes.

"Exactly. How could you believe that I would send away **_the love of my life_** for something so stupid we don't even remember?"

Alec looked at him, tears in his eyes, Magnus’ words swirling in his head. “ _the love of my life_ ” "I…" he only said, at a loss for words so Magnus went on, reaching out hesitantly, to touch his face.

"Now that I found you at last, I'm never letting you go again…"

“But…”

“Shh…” he said pulling him close. He hugged him tight against his chest and kissed his raven hair.

That only caused him to start crying more. “I thought…” he sobbed.

“Hush…” Cooed Magnus “Hush baby, it's okay now, I'm so sorry… so sorry…” He held him close rocking him gently like a child until he finally calmed down, having taken it all off his chest.

When Magnus saw he had stopped sobbing, he asked softly, leaning to whisper in his ear, not letting him go. "Are you okay Sayang?"

Alec nodded. "I'm sorry…"

"No… No baby, don't be… Just…" he stopped and the boy tilted his head up to see why.

"Magnus?" The Warlock was biting his lower lip, a pained expression on his face "Magnus what's wrong?" He asked, gently touching his face.

"Please… Never… Never scare me like that again…" he choked out. "I… I thought I was gonna lose you…"

Now it was Alec's turn to comfort him, as the fight had taken its toll on both of them. He reached out with his other hand too and cupped his face pulling him closer and kissing him softly, then whispered against his lips. "Don't be afraid… As long as you want me, I'm not going anywhere…"

Magnus looked into his sapphire eyes losing himself in them, and whispered back, the vulnerability evident in his voice. "You promise?"

Alec smiled at him, his eyes filled with love. "I promise." And sealed the promise with another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapters are small, but I will update ULTRA fast! I promise~


End file.
